Is Boredom Beating Your Marriage?
Let’s face it … we live in a culture where we’re quickly bored. We change jobs … channels … and conversation topics in the blink of an eye. Today’s media knows this and bombards its ADD audience with sound bite messages every 15 to 30 seconds …
Unfortunately many of us who are married … have lost interest in our spouses and our marriages! We stop having meaningful conversations … and even stop fighting because we don’t care … we stop dating and trying to impress each other … our love life becomes routine and predictable … we value our relationships with friends more than we do each other … we’ve grown into couch potatoes … who feel more like brothers and sisters than we do husbands and wives … does any of this sound familiar? If so, boredom may be beating your marriage.
Boredom is an enemy of marriage and intimacy. New research tells us that bored spouses are rapidly drifting toward divorce … believing a new spouse will bring back the excitement.
So how do we keep from getting bored in our marriage? We can’t change spouses like we do TV channels … so let’s see if we can find some ways to beat boredom … before it beats us:
Look for ways that you can become a more exciting spouse … it’s notyour spouse’s fault that you are bored … you’ve become boring! Start by remembering what you loved to do together when you were dating? Rekindle some of those activities. Now look for some more fun things that the two of you can enjoy together … get some bikes or kayaks …plan to visit every park in your region … take dance lessons … start a garden … join a book club … plan a vacation or trip together.
Attend a marriage conference or retreat to get some helpful information and encouragement to strengthen your relationship. Deepening Intimacy is an adventure in itself because it involves getting to know all there is to know about each other … and I’ll bet you two still have a lot to discover about one-another.
Knee to Knee … Nose to Nose Questions
1 – What are some symptoms we are seeing that may indicate we’re getting a little bored in our relationship?
2 – How have I become boring? Why? What do I need to do to remedy this?
3 – What were some of the fun things we did while we were dating that have stopped? How can we bring some of those back into our lives?
4 – What are some new things we can do together that would help us beat the boredom that could beat us?
5 – What’s our plan? What are the first three things we are going to do to break out of boring? Set your goals … execute your plan …